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The Problem with falling in Love
Our parents were incredibly naive about love.
— Xenocrates
How it typically begins always makes the inevitability of how it ends so much more perplexing and painful. Image © Copyright 2012 Tomasz Wagner, Mananetwork Wedding Photography. Used with permission.
There was once a person you would have moved heaven and earth for. He or she was all sorts of amazing. Your only problem with this person is that all of the wonderful things that you once loved about them have inexplicably evaporated. You want to know something interesting? The factors that caused the evaporation were always there when you first met. It’s just as you got to know them better, they became harder to ignore. It’s like the intensity of the good things you loved about them have swapped places with the bad things. Familiar?
Then we need to talk.
■ E-mail: accordingtoxen[at]gmail[dot]com
The Impending Extinction of Marriage (Part 2 of 2)
Marriage is as relevant today as the horse drawn carriage.
— Xenocrates
How convenient.
The biggest problem with the institution of marriage likely has very little to do with what we’re doing wrong with marriage as opposed to marriage itself. If you’re having marital problems, you may want to consider the fact that marriage is fairly antiquated. In this post, I will cover the remaining five of the top ten issues with the popular concept of marriage and why they are now a recurring cause of failure in marital relationships as societies continue to evolve.
■ E-mail: accordingtoxen[at]gmail[dot]com
The Impending Extinction of Marriage (Part 1 of 2)
Everyone falls in love with wedding days, but few of us fall in love with marriage.
— Xenocrates
Marriage is dying. Studies show that marriage is on the decline all over the world. More and more people are opting out of being married. The number of people who are married in the most developed societies around the world are at an all time low. But as you’ll note from the above linked article, this is not a cyclical trend. Marriage has been on a steady decline since the 1950’s. What gives? I explore this phenomenon in this post about the slow death of love.
■ E-mail: accordingtoxen[at]gmail[dot]com
Relationship Addiction (Part 2 of 2) — Why you shouldn’t get married
Some people desire marriage for all the same reasons dogs chase cars.
— Xenocrates
A happily married couple — as delightful as this looks, marriage is not for everyone.
One of the biggest lies propagated in western society is that everyone should be in love with somebody and that love is universally accessible. Nobody tells you however that love has a set of very specific requirements. Some people do not have these qualities in their personality by default and will probably never develop them. Some people should stay single. They are just not mature enough to identify themselves—and that’s precisely where this post comes in.
■ E-mail: accordingtoxen[at]gmail[dot]com
Relationship Addiction (Part 1 of 2) — Love by any means
Settling for someone less than you deserve makes for two unhappy people instead of one.
— Xenocrates
Most people want to get to this state. The trouble is, some people don’t care how.
I’ve heard many people complain about their unsatisfactory relationships, only to see them break up and start another one just like it. What’s the reasoning for this? Wouldn’t it make more sense to learn from the past? As it turns out, that is not the problem. Most people would much rather to be in a relationship than be in love. They are relationship addicts — slaves to the want of being desired. This addiction has now reached pandemic proportions.
■ E-mail: accordingtoxen[at]gmail[dot]com
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