Home > People, politics, women > The Bitch vs The Prophet

The Bitch vs The Prophet


“It is irrational to argue with an irrational woman.”

Xenocrates

Governor Sarah Palin

verybody loves a fiesty bitch – especially if it wears lipstick. Sarah Palin is quite possibly the cheapest in a long line of Republican tricks to win an election. John McCain is a clever bastard. He realised that the crowd was swooning for the younger, blacker, hipper candidate. Since Barack Obama forsook his bitch option (Senator Hillary Clinton) for a smartass (Joe Biden) and for very good reasons, he thought; ‘what better way to even the odds (or at least, attempt to do so) by selecting a hot, young, bona fide bitch for VP’. It’s a brilliant ploy that reeks of gimmick and sexploitation. Ever since this über-bitch took the stage, the media has suddenly stopped cutting John McCain’s speeches short for Obama’s. Now they’re cutting them short for hers. Even though she has proven that she is just as clueless as the president her ticket is hoping to replace, I suspect that some elements of the American idiocracy will swoon for her just the same – because that’s what idiocracies do. The only time Sarah Palin seems remotely in touch with anything that comes out of her mouth is when she’s not repeating memorised speaking notes as she plays the role of John McCain’s fiesty biting poodle. Good thing her bark is worse than her bite as was evident when Katie Couric showed her who’s the baddest bitch around – and Katie didn’t even have to get fiesty. Rawr. This proves more than anything else that Palin’s more MILF than VP material. I ain’t even gonna lie. I’d hit it.

Evening the odds

John McCain picked Sarah Palin for one very good reason: History has shown that an old white man can’t beat a young, smooth-talking black man – not even when running for president. This is especially true if this dude can spine tingle like a prophet, enunciate like a college professor, sound like a “spirit filled” preacher, get Hollywood all hot and bothered and has the media eating out of his hands while simultaneously doing the fish and bread miracle with his BlackBerry. Booya. The brother’s got game.
 
Now what better way to even out the ticket than picking a VP who has been officially implicated as abusing her power in the firing of Alaska’s Public Safety Official for his failure to fire a state trooper (who happens to be her sister’s ex husband) over allegations that the trooper threatened her family. Great choice John. You picked a bitch to fight a prophet. Clearly you’ve forgotten the Biblical story of Jezebel to know how that turns out. Well, at least she has great legs.

 

Now that America has matured Barack Obama from being the ultimate Affirmitive Action Poster boy, an old, cranky, white dude who is nothing more than a fossilised remnant of the old age of America only reminds the intelligible masses of exactly where they don’t want to be. That was an America where the world was run by old white men who sent young men to die in needless wars while exemplifying gross incompetence in economic mismanagement. John McCain took a while to realise this. He failed to capitulate quickly enough to the fact that Obama’s message of “change” is a systemic one – not some cheap campaign slogan. That’s where the Palin factor comes in.

The Republican Ticket

The Republican Ticket

If John McCain really wanted to even the score though, he would’ve picked a young successful BLACK woman with just as much pretentious badass as Palin. Unfortunately, most of those women are too busy having five kids for dead beat dads. So Sarah Palin was the next best option. She has five kids for a dad that cares. Awww… how sweet. Now that she’s his running mate, it’s like the Republican party has almost completely dumped McCain. With the level of fame she’s suddenly gotten, Palin might as well run for president. McCain’s her bitch now. Not the the other way around. Meow baby…

Her opening speech at the RNC was pretty hot. Even I liked her – and I couldn’t even see her legs that time. I even thought briefly that the Republicans might actually win this. I applauded John McCain for this move – until I heard Palin virtually repeating her speech verbatim everywhere she went. That’s when everyone, including Bush’s dog, started to wonder if she’s got anything else under her belt. That’s when the Palin novelty wore off, and Katie Couric took off her gloves and took this biatch to the cleaners.

The Dumb Blonde Effect

So you might be thinking “pfssh – Another anti-republican, anti-Palin, blogster who doesn’t know what he’s talking about and is just mouthing off for attention“. I scoff at thee, oh clueless one, if that’s how you feel. Clearly you have not been watching the events of the last couple of weeks on television. The Palin factor has demonstrated more than anything else, that she is nothing more than a pretty puppet – a dumb blonde of sorts who’s been shoved into a role that she lacks the experience and capacity to support. She, like the Bush factor before her, has become nothing more than an epic laughing stock for the media. I guess that’s why McCain no longer accuses Obama of being inexperienced. Haw Haw. You screwed yourself there buddy. Feast your eyes on this gem:

CNN was having a blast with that one. Saturday Night Live (which typically has mediocre ratings) has blown up and now has the highest ratings in seven years! Now think about this for a second: If SNL is making a killing vis-a-vis Tina Fey on this VP hopeful, that can’t be a good sign, can it? Did you get the joke from what CNN’s John King observed? He wasn’t sure if it was life imitating art or art imitating life. That is sad! The fact that SNL used what Palin said almost verbatim as material for their funny rendition illustrates the sheer dread that America needs to feel when considering that this moronic hockey mom might become President of the USA should the McCain croak.

Do you realise that nobody is making as much fun of Obama? This is not SNL being partisan (as was suggested by a Republican buffoon in CNN). Obama’s not that easy to make fun of because he’s not an intrinsic idiot. It’s hard to make fun of someone and make it genuinely funny if they don’t provide you with the material to do so. The media treats the candidates for what they really are. Obama gets a music video homage made out to him while Palin gets made fun of. It would seem that the Republicans of late are proof that the American Idiocracy is a self defacing, self lampooning engine that is inexorably bound to it’s own stupidity. But wait, it gets worse:

WTF?

Her childishness in her capacity to reason on simple ideas is remarkable. It makes you wonder if McCain is really serious about her as a running mate. I mean, seriously?!  If she gets into the White House, John Stewart, Saturday Night Live, Stephen Colbert and everyone else in between are going to have a blast and the last eight years of this over rated idiocracy will pale in comparison. The comedians will weep if Republicans loose this election. But seriously, that level of ignorance should FRIGHTEN you. What’s even more frightening is that there are so many people blindly backing this woman. Why is so much of the electorate so dunce? Now if that doesn’t scare you, this might:

Oh. My. God…

Have you ever sat an exam where you were required to answer a question that you didn’t really know the answer to and you just concocted a bullshit response that would come as close to the answer that you think it was? Doesn’t that seem eerily like what Governor Palin was doing just now? Jack Cafferty was right. That level of ignorance for someone going into one of the highest offices in the land is simply inexcusable. It is in this moment that the gimmick is exposed and the clueless cutie pie becomes fodder for SNL:

I said some time ago that there is a very good reason why men still rule the world. Apparently this new turn of events even more so validates what I said before. Consider the two women who’ve been profiled in this election. The Democratic female candidate hopeful, Hillary Clinton, ran her campaign to the point where she almost completely destroyed the party. The selfish bitch kept going even though she didn’t have a popsicle’s chance in hell of beating Obama. She gave lots of female voters misplaced hope and almost sent 18 million Democratic voters off the deep end. The idiot only put 18 million cracks in the Democratic party’s walls – not the ceiling. Then comes along this fiesty hot thang (with amazing legs might I add – oh wait, I said that already ) who has all but made a fool of McCain, the Republicans and the dumb blondes that support her.

I couldn’t help but make the incontrovertible observation that she sticks to the same nonsensical responses irrespective of what is being asked of her in the above mentioned interviews. She’s not very different from Hillary Clinton when she gets all fired up. That’s why women in these kinds of top positions rarely do well. All those electrochemical reactions discharging in their brains defeat their capacity to be rational. That’s why Hillary Clinton lost the Democratic primaries and that’s why SNL’s Tina Fey has more material than she knows what to do with. It shouldn’t be considered an act of comic genius that SNL had a skit with her and Hillary sharing the spotlight. The point is that these two women have proven that it is irrational to argue with an irrational woman – crystalising what every man has always known about women in top positions. That’s not being sexist. It’s being realistic.

Barring her gaffs during interviews, Palin has uttered a lot of nonsense since she’s been shoved into the spotlight. I’m pretty sure that she’s being spoon fed this garbage. Clearly she doesn’t suffer from diminished cognitive capacity – or does she? As McCain’s campaign is flailing like a haemorrheging headless chicken, Palin’s job as ‘attack dog’ is pretty clear. As such, the campaign has resorted to hurling mud at the left since it effectively has no other substance with which to win the election. The latest of her accusations that Obama ‘pals’ around with terrorists is ludicrous to say the least:

The fact that Obama was eight years old when Ayers was on a bombing campaign automatically moots the accusation. Serving on the board with this dude doesn’t imply that Obama is a terrorist and it doesn’t mean that he agrees with Ayers. That’s just as ridiculous as the accusations that because there are family ties between Bush and Adolf Hitler that he is furthering Hitler’s agenda. It’s just plain dumb and reeks of desperation. Appropriately, all this mud hurling has backfired at the McCain campaign, and now he’s stuck with the job of cleaning up her puke:

Republicans have ‘officially‘ gone

These people support the Republican party for all the same reasons that the media swoons for Obama. They are not interested in facts – just what is being said. Now if you go around hurling mud at the left like that, especially using a dumb blonde like Palin to make these kinds of nonsensical remarks, what do you think is going to happen when a large portion of your supporters are uneducated, church-going, white trash, Joe six-pack, post civil rights grudge holders, living in backwater hick towns where words like “moonbat” are still being used? Now that the republitards actually believe that Obama is an Arabic terrorist, (how dumb can these people really get?) how is John McCain going to dig himself out of this crap? Way to go McCain. You just lost the election. Better luck in 2012.

Oh wait, you’ll be too old then. Nevermind.

Conclusion

Already there appear to be cracks in the Republican ticket. As far as conservatism is concerned, Palin and McCain are on the two far ends of the spectrum. If this ticket doesn’t get to the Whitehouse, it is likely that she will run against McCain loyalists in 2012 and all this garbage will come back to haunt her then. She will try to distance herself from McCain when issues like stem cell research and prolife choices come up and the Democratic team will use that to tie her to McCain’s flailing campaign. If Obama wins, it looks like he is already a shoe in for a second term if this is the best that the Republicans have to offer.

Senator John McCain may be a real American hero – but he doesn’t make much of a convincing politician. He was putting his electorate to sleep when he spoke and the news media (even Fox News! *Gasp!*) made fun of the fact that he is a lame orator. Let’s face it, Sarah Palin injected needed life into his campaign. She’s hot, young, sassy, pretty and has an annoying accent (is that Alaskan?) that seems to resonate with moms on the far right. McCain barely knew Governor Palin when she was selected, which adds to the conspicuous nature of this gimmick.

If I were a feminist, I would be rightfully offended of the exploitation of a skirt to make an old fogie look good. I’m not surprised that feminists on the far right however, have ignored this obvious abuse of femininity for political mileage – which clearly exposes the inextricable link between feminism and the bullshit I like to call “double standards”. Is she really that dark that she doesn’t realise that she’s being used? She’s probably too excited about the possibility of being a VP to care about all that.

To that end, I’ve hidden an image somewhere in this post which exemplifies how many people truly feel about the Republican Ticket. It’s an Easter Egg. I must warn you that it’s not PG-13.  If you can find it, you will either be deeply offended or love it. (Hint: it’s a URL link). Ahh, the brilliance of manipulating feminine desperation. Happy hunting. Now in the true spirit of blatant misogyny, I leave you with this truly inspired piece of sexploitation which captures the dirty old man’s wandering eyes, as he tossing around the idea of removing that wedding ring:

Now that’s hot.

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  1. Stewart Panton
    October 17, 2008 at 8:34 pm

    why the hell cant i find this damn easter egg!!!

  2. October 15, 2008 at 12:14 pm

    I just shudder at the thought that if Mcain croaks…which he probably will…Palin will have the nuclear codes. God help us all.

    I am likewise in great and terrible fear. I feel like beating down on Sean Hannity for no particular reason. I just need an appropriate Republican beating stick.

    But I lack the ability to see why anybody with anything greater than primary level education will want to vote Republican…

    The Republican party is a conservative party. They represent the Christians on the far right. Since most people forgot that America was built on a secular ideology and not on Christianity, the large majority of the electorate believes that the Republican party has their best interests at heart simply because they lean towards the religious right. Once again this proves that most Americans who vote Republican are voting in the name of religion and not in the name of critical issues. Religion has a remarkable talent for blinding the eyes of a people like that.

    Christians feel compelled to vote for a party just because they oppose gay rights and promote traditional family values and irrelevant religious tenets irrespective of the fact that they are renown for gross governmental mismanagement. Republicans needs to understand that an attack on the Republican base is not an attack on their ideals. It’s an attack on mismanagement. Unfortunately, the same kind of irrationality that allows someone to subscribe to religion is the same kind that will cause them to support a system that doesn’t work. Catch 22.

    It won’t be so in America because Mr. Obama has an unchangeable flaw.

    Have faith my brother. Jesus will defeat the Pharisees. If not, then we should all migrate to Canada. I love that country. 🙂

    I only have 1 question re your easter egg… why is mccain set up in a superior position?

    Three very good reasons:

    1. The Christian Church teaches that position is Holy (this is bullshit, btw)
    2. Contrary to popular belief, McCain is the presidential nominee, not Palin.
    3. Librarians are hot and must be [censored].

  3. Sgtmac
    October 15, 2008 at 11:45 am

    I only have 1 question re your easter egg… why is mccain set up in a superior position? ah well.
    as far as the mccain palin ticket goes, my take is that the repubs are tryin to show that they can win with the most pathetic campaign imaginable, which when you consider dole bush 2000, where a cokehead took the presidency (i use took advisedly) then you realise my notion isnt so far fetched.
    Sarah Palin.. every time she opens her mouth to the world, the image of the clueless american is perpetuated. damn that woman.
    the worst part is, mccain seems to be caught in a runaway vehicle that he doesnt know how to regain control of.

    and elsewhere, the rest of teh wold watches and hopes The US voters dont eff it up this time.

  4. Manu
    October 14, 2008 at 10:11 am

    Scare tactics…. same thing the PNP used….same thing the REP using….but we got lucky. It won’t be so in America because Mr. Obama has an unchangeable flaw.

  5. Stewart Panton
    October 13, 2008 at 10:37 pm

    ps: As a techie it should not be so hard for me to find a link…

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