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Truth Is Relative

“In the absence of proof, Truth is relative.”


Mormons to the world...


 officially hate Mormons. I don’t hate them as much as I hate extremist Muslims, or charismatic Christians, but Mormons really piss me off. Of all the people who are willing to go door to door to sell their crooked fairy tale belief system for 50 cents a pop  (Jehovah’s Witnesses, I’m talking about you), Mormons are the single most arrogant, self-righteous, delusional, looney bunch of crackerjack sons of pimps I have ever met. Not only do these sock cuckers claim to believe what traditional Christians believe, they think they’ve got the rest of the story nobody else supposedly has. Apparently, some retard named Joseph Smith claims he bore witness to Jesus in America and become prophet of the faith to the new world… some two thousand years later. Now these same father, multiple mothered, half-sibling, inbreds claim that they’re the one true church. Now that means anyone, Christian or otherwise, (even if you’ve accepted Jesus) who doesn’t subscribe to their specific pseudo-christian teachings, is bound to miss out on the luau in Utah… er… heaven (or wherever the fork these scrawny white boys come from). I had the privilege of meeting with two of these retards, and I must say, their level of stupidity (never mind their profound incapacity to reason) is worthy of the Guiness Book of Records. The story goes like this…

Religious Intolerance

About three weeks ago, a pair of Mormons showed up at my gate. Since I like destroying Mormons and their kin (i.e. Jehovah’s Witnesses), I invited them into my yard to have a little discussion. I hadn’t had a good religious debate in a while, and I was feeling the need to get my fix. The two obviously bright (and clearly, very young) men proceeded to share various bits of scripture with me – nothing I wasn’t already familiar with. After telling them that I’d already bought into Christianity when I was young and gullible and that I already have Jesus in my life (just to see what they would say), they still persisted in insinuating that their faith is the only one right one. As retarded as this is all sounding already, I decided that I hadn’t had a pointless religious discussion in a long time. So I decided to humor them for the sheer diabolic joy of exposing their idiocracy. The discussion went something like this:

  • Xeno: So how do you know that the Mormon faith is true? There are many false prophets out there.
  • Elder #1: The Bible teaches that you shall know them by their fruits.
  • Elder #2: And the fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, longsuffering, etc. etc.
  • Xeno: But I see those fruits even in places run by false prophets. Care to try again?
  • Elder #1: Well, Xeno, you need to pray and ask God to show you that Joseph Smith is a true prophet.
  • Xeno: What makes Joseph Smith so special? I was really comfy with Isaiah and Jeremiah and the rest of the O-G’s.
  • Elder #1: Umm, ‘Oh-Gees’?
  • Xeno: Acronym for “Original Gangstas”
  • Elder #1: Eh?
  • Elder #2: Confused
  • Xeno: Giggles
  • Elder #1: Well Jesus said he is gone to preach the truth to his other sheep. Those sheep are the gentiles in the Americas. Joseph Smith is our prophet.
  • Xeno: ORLY? So how do I know Joseph Smith wasn’t making this up? I hear he has a penchant for making sh!t up.
  • Elder #2: (Triumphantly) You see, this is why you should pray and ask God to show you the truth. That’s the only way to know for sure.
  • Elder #1: Exactly. I prayed and I felt that burning sensation in my chest that this was the truth!
  • Xeno: Are you sure that wasn’t heart burn?
  • Elder #1: (getting visibly annoyed ), no Xeno. It’s that sensation you feel when you KNOW that you’ve discovered something great and wonderful. It’s a great euphoric sensation.
  • Xeno: I get that feeling when I go to rave parties and I hear an awesome new choon after dosing up on eX or after I’ve taken a large dump.
  • Elder #1: Annoyed
  • Elder #2: Umm… This is a very different feeling, Xeno. It’s, it’s spiritual and you feel it in your chest.
  • Xeno: I hear people from other congregations saying the same thing. That doesn’t make you guys the only people who think they have the only truth.
  • Elder #1: Well pray about it Xeno. I am confident that God will reveal to you that this is truth.
  • Xeno: Well everybody’s been coming to me to sell me their religion as the “truth”. I think that truth is relative.
  • Elder #1: No, that’s wrong. There’s only one truth.
  • Elder #2: (Shaking his head) I agree.
  • Xeno: But neither of you can prove your truth any more so than the Jehovah’s Witnesses or the Church of Christ or the Seventh Day Adventists. So your truth is relative to you. I don’t believe in your truth because you can’t prove it to me. So what’s true for you, is nothing more than fairy-tale to me. It would be like you trying to convince me that your favourite colour is the one true colour.
  • Elder #1: Wow… (his brain recoils from that revelation) …I see your point. Well I tell you what, you need to do more than just pray. Will you come to our church tomorrow?
  • Xeno: I already have commitments at my church. I’m quite happy where I am, but thanks for the invitation.
  • Elder #1: But as your first act of faith, you must be willing to do what is necessary to prove your faith. You must come to our church and experience it for yourself. What time does your church start?
  • Xeno: 7:30 am
  • Elder #1: We start at 12 pm and go until 3 pm. So will you come?
  • Xeno: I can’t promise you that. Like I already said, I have commitments.
  • Elder #1: But you won’t know the truth unless you come.
  • Xeno: You haven’t really proven anything to me. So why should I just come like that? All that you’ve done is stated your opinion.
  • Elder #2: This is not an opinion. This is fact.
  • Xeno: …that you cannot prove. Therefore it is an opinion.
  • Elder #1: That’s why you should pray about it and come.
  • Xeno: Would you be willing to come to my church?
  • Elder #1: Nope
  • Elder #2: Frustrated
  • Xeno: So how do you expect me to know that you guys are so certain about what you believe that you would be willing to go as far as to come to my church and show me how it is so wrong?
  • Elder #2: Because we already have the truth. We don’t need to seek it elsewhere.
  • Xeno: I’d say the same thing. I already have the truth. I don’t need to see it elsewhere.
  • Elder #2: (under his breath) wow… touché  woah
  • Elder #1: But you won’t know unless you come to our church.
  • Xeno: (Shakes head in pity) I tell you what, I’ll pray about it and I’ll let you know what God says. Deal?
  • Elder #1: (reluctantly) Fine. Before we leave, let’s pray. You pray and ask God to show the truth.
  • Xeno: (Praying) Thank you Lord for this opportunity to prove yourself to me and especially to these two young men. I pray that you will show us ALL the truth and not leave us wandering in the dark. Amen.

At this point they leave they both look up at me with a deadly serious look on their faces. Defeated, they leave their phone number with me to call them and ask for directions. They leave crest fallen, taking one last stop to piss on the outside lawn of my residence before disappearing down the road from whence they came. So I sat and thought about what these morons said and I had a really diabolical idea. So I call up these mothertruckers and the conversation goes more or less like this:

  • Elder #1: Hello?
  • Xeno: Hey, It’s Me, Xeno.
  • Elder #1: Oh great. I’m glad you called.
  • Xeno: Yeah me too. I found the truth.
  • Elder #1: Really? I knew that God would reveal it to you and that….
  • Xeno: (cutting him off) He said that you guys are full of bullocks.
  • Elder #1: (pause) …wh-what?
  • Xeno: Yeah, something you said yesterday showed me your true fruits, as you so rightfully said and that’s what God showed me to prove that you Mormons are full of bullocks.
  • Elder #1: (still silent)
  • Xeno: Jesus established one church. Mankind has many different interpretations of Jesus’ truth and that has led to many different denominations. However, irrespective of what label we call ourselves, there is still only one church. It’s not the Baptists, not the Church of God, not the Church of Christ, not the Pentacostals, not the New Testaments, not the Catholics, not the Jehovah’s Witnesses, and certainly not the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day saints. There is only ONE church. Irrespective of what we call ourselves, we all worship ONE saviour: Jesus Christ. We don’t need Joseph Smith or anyone else for that matter to pave the way to God. Jesus taught that He is the way, the truth and the light and no man comes to the Father BUT through him. So I’m sorry sir, I cannot accept that the Mormon faith is the one true church and I therefore, by this revelation, reject Joseph Smith and any and all teachings associated with him.
  • (long silence)
  • Xeno: ….hello?
  • (busy signal)
  • Xeno: Muahahahahaaa...

The son of a whore hung up on me. Fine. So I sign in to MSN messenger the next day with my personal message saying: “Mormons are such idiots“. At that point, a young woman comes online, sees my message and our conversation goes like this:

  • Heather: Wow, you’re really Politically Correct.
  • Xeno: Aren’t I just?
  • Heather: We should be religiously tolerant.
  • Xeno: Not to people who are intolrant of my religion.
  • Heather: What is your religion?
  • Xeno: It doesn’t matter. Nobody tells me what to believe. I’m sick of assholes trying to tell me what to believe. To hell with ’em. To hell with ’em all.
  • Heather: What if they don’t believe in hell?
  • Xeno: Then they can go to New Jersey.
  • Heather: LOL
  • Xeno: I\'m so damn cool


Listen, I don’t care what people want to believe. I mean, who am I to tell people what to kill their brain cells over? There’s all kinds of religious B.S. floating around these days in addition to the rubbish we already know about. While I can understand why people would feel the need to believe in something they can’t prove, it is the audacity of those who feel compelled to encourage others to believe in the same B.S. that escapes me. If they’re so stupid that they can’t realise the inherent garbage that they’re wasting brain matter over, then these people shouldn’t try to have a conversation with anyone on the subject, except a board certified shrink. I’ve been lied to for over 18 years by Christians. That’s enough. I don’t need to hear anymore B.S. from any one else – especially not Mormons, who like Muslims and many Christians, are blind to the reality that not everyone in the world needs religion. Some people are just lucky enough to be born with enough brains to know that religion is intrinsically redundant, since religion only attains to truth that it feels most comfortable with.

What all religious people need to understand is that truth is not contained in religion. Truth and religion are mutually exclusive. Religion merely approximates truth for it’s own agenda, hence why it explicitly forsakes proof. With that said, in the absence of proof, all truth is relative.  Therefore, to all the Mormons and JW’s and misguided Christians and self deprecating Muslims, I’d like to ask you to do me a simple favour: Leave me alone and keep your religious garbage to yourself. If you’re so stupid that you’d believe anything without proof or reason, and then on top of that, try to convince me that your hallucinations are real, then that officially makes you too dumb to talk to me and anyone else with half a brain. That also makes your religion a waste of my time. It seems that it will only work for me once I’m willing to become dumb enough – like you. If that makes me religiously intolerant, then you have one of two options:

  1. Welcome me to your club of self-righteous “My religion is better than yours”  …OR
  2. Sign me up for a lifetime membership in Atheists Anonymous.

One way or another, it doesn’t make a frickin’ difference. If this post pissed you off or offended you in any way, then GOOD, because I still don’t care about your delusional opinion. If repeating yourself and declaring on top of your voice that your relig… err… opinion makes your belief better than mine, then by the same crackpot logic, I claim equal rights in declaring that the one true religion is the worship of the pink unicorn. I can’t prove that unicorns were ever pink or that they even existed. However, using the same delusional rationale you use to sanctify your religion, I declare that the pink Unicorn is God and he wants to stick his 10th dimensional horn up your ass to deliver you from sin.

Can I get a witness up in here?

Yet another annoying Mormon
  1. xenlogic
    July 9, 2008 at 7:07 pm

    “I married my soulmate, and I did that beofre I was ‘Mormon.’ ”

    – LOL! The elders are going to crucify you when they find out. 😀

  2. July 9, 2008 at 7:05 pm

    “You say that hate leads to prejudice. You make it seem like prejudice is intrinsically a bad thing. Prejudice is what keeps you from marrying someone who isn’t a Mormon. Think about that for a second…”

    Sorry sucker.. You know nothing about me, other than what I said on this Blog. I did say I was a “Mormon” but I married my soulmate, and I did that beofre I was “Mormon.” Her Religion or lack there of was not an issue, her faith on the other hand was an atractive element in our relationship.

    prejudice is intrinsically a bad thing! You never know what you are judging when you use prejudice.

    By the way, I take no offence but am trying to share a point about Hate. I think this clears it up.

    God Bless,

    P.S. Hate who you want, it always leads to hurt. For me I’d like not to hate my fellow Man.

  3. xenlogic
    July 9, 2008 at 6:42 pm

    Would you be happier if I said that I hate people who are arrogant and self-righteous? Y’know what? It doesn’t matter.

    The more people I talk to, the more I get the distinct impression that my particular experience as outlined here seems to have been as a result of a pair inexperienced guys. Normally I don’t have anything against Mormons as I have a couple of ex-Mormons as friends. But these two really pissed me off. It’s not the first that I’m talking to Mormons and normally they don’t rub me the wrong way – which is why this particular experience I’ve just had seems pretty unusual for your group. I expect that sort of obnoxious agression from Jehovah’s Witnesses or even Seventh Day Adventists, but not Mormons.

    Whenever someone tells me that their ‘truth’ is better than mine, that’s the kind of thing that would cause me to ask them to leave. I don’t tolerate people who are intolerant of the possibility that they might be wrong. There’s no point in having a discussion with such a person. This is why, even though I disagree with most atheists, I RESPECT many of them, because they are just trying to find the truth, but have failed for lack of proof. Many are willing to admit that even though they hold their position, they could be wrong. That means there’s STILL room for repentance.

    These two particular Mormons believed that they CANNOT be wrong – which is preposterous. That’s the sort of thing that pisses me off. That’s the same kind of ideology that creates malevolent theocracies, like many of those maintained by Islamic territories in the Middle-East. It’s the same kind of ideology behind religious wars and such like. When people are intolerant for the ideas of other faiths, it makes them arrogant and self-righteous. Even if you disagree with the teachings of other cultures or faiths, nothing gives you the right to try and impose your beliefs upon them.

    I reject any system of belief that asserts itself as the one true religion and I hate (yes, I’m using the right word) anybody who would seek to impose upon me or anyone else that their fairytale is better than mine or anyone else’s. It’s wrong, it’s evil and I won’t make anyone who is of that opinion any more comfortable because of it. Nobody should try to shove their beliefs down anybody’s throat nor try to indoctrinate them out of theirs so long as it is intrinsically benign.

    You win souls to your cause by EXAMPLE. If they invited me to worship with them without trying so hard, I MIGHT have given in to curiousity and paid them a visit. If they were willing to visit my church, I would DEFINITELY have paid them a visit. But now all that they’ve done is to completely turn me off from the entire group when before I actually had the deepest respect for you guys’ pacifist way of life (even though I would never subscribe to your teachings). Now I’m pretty sure I will never go LDS, no matter how drunk I am. (…and I’ve never been drunk in my life… ever)

    I am sorry you feel that my level of negative emotion is a construct for even more destructive consequences. However, with all due respect, you don’t know me and you don’t know my capacities. I reserve the right to hate any ideological construct that bows towards fascism, religious intolerance or cultural indoctrination. I don’t care who is doing it, or where it’s coming from. Any kind of idea of that nature is DANGEROUS because that is the beginning of oppression.

    I would like to disagree with you on a couple of things:

    You said hate isn’t Christlike. That opens you up to scrutiny, because I could easily counter-argue that Christians should hate sin – which would instantly make your argument redundant. Shouldn’t we embrace the sinner but despise the sin? Doesn’t God hate sin?

    Trick question: Does God hate the Devil? Think about this carefully.

    You said that hate isn’t beneficial. I would counter-argue that RAGE isn’t beneficial. Hate serves its purpose just like any other emotion. Where an emotion becomes non-beneficial is where it is uncontrolled and it becomes something else altogether. Hate is one of the emotions that keep you away from things you perceive to be non-beneficial to yourself. So hate is a very useful emotion if used correctly. Don’t be so ready to blacklist it because of inappropriate everyday usage.

    You say that hate leads to prejudice. You make it seem like prejudice is intrinsically a bad thing. Prejudice is what keeps you from marrying someone who isn’t a Mormon. Think about that for a second…

    Never-the-less, ditchu, even though we disagree on this issue, I invite you to not take personal offence. I may not be a fan of Mormons anymore, but it doesn’t mean that you should therefore absorb this criticism onto yourself. If however you still feel compelled to take one for the team, then I can’t stop you.

    God bless,
    – X

  4. July 9, 2008 at 4:16 pm

    I am “Mormon”
    You refer to the Group, then it includes to all in that Group.
    I suppose you Hate me now.

  5. xenlogic
    July 8, 2008 at 8:34 pm

    LOL – I think you misread me. I wasn’t referring to you when I mentioned “arrogance” and “self-righteous”. I was referring to the Mormons. It was a counterpoint to your previous post.


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