Home > Life, Men, People, Relationships, women > Epiphanies Volume 1: People

Epiphanies Volume 1: People


“People are nothing more than sophisticated animals living their lives as though they they were anything more than just that.”

Xenocrates

People

People are fascinating creatures. Aside from their biological curiosities, there’s really not much more to them. People are nothing more than slightly sophisticated animals. It shows in the way we relate to each other and how we live our lives. Every single human behaviour can be rationalised from a very basic animalistic perspective. Most of our key behavioural traits can be expressed in highly simplistic terms that hold true for the majority of us. What makes us interesting is that much of our very existence parades on the assumption that we’re not. That’s why many of these epiphanies have proven to be such eye openers for many. People who’ve really studied human behaviour however, will not be the least bit surprised. This is the first volume in a synoptical arrangement of epiphanies I’ve had on various aspects of life. This entry tackles people’s existential quirks on a whole new level. All of this I’ve learned in the short space of time that I have lived on this rock. As far as I know, these are all my own original thoughts:

On Relationships

Couple

  • Money does buy love as every woman has a price.
  • Sexual attractiveness is often inversely proportional to intellectual appeal.
  • Men only appear to be persistent liars because women are better liars.
  • Relationships cure lonliness, not the capacity to be attracted to others.
  • Some people only appear to be shallow because they’re uncompromising about what they want.
  • Gorgeous people will only be attracted to other gorgeous people.
  • Physical attractiveness is often inversely proportional to the quality of the personality.
  • If sex was overrated, then people wouldn’t feel the need to say that it was.
  • Marriage is just a significantly more expensive way of shacking up.
  • A prenup is the first step to divorce.
  • Monogamy is just a social contruct designed to stem exponential population growth.
  • It is better to be single and unhappy, than to be involved and unhappy.
  • If it weren’t for the sex, nobody would care about relationships.
  • Men and women can’t be friends if sexual attraction exists between them.
  • Love and war are powered by the same emotional forces.
  • Physical attraction is nature’s way of weeding out bad genes.
  • The fear of loneliness creates the most unlikely couples.
  • It is easier to hate those you love than to love those you hate.
  • Love is a transactional bond designed explicitly for procreation. Everything else is a clever incentive.
  • Love is selfish.

On Family

  • There comes a time in every boy’s life when he realises that daddy isn’t superman.
  • Every girl is genetically doomed to become her mother.
  • Family knows more ways to hurt you than friends ever will.
  • Good parenting often involves knowing how to lie strategically.
  • Children are always cheerful because they are unaware of the terrible world they live in.
  • Over protective parents create immature children.
  • Children learn how to love the opposite sex from each parent of the opposite sex.
  • Parenting is nothing more than selective brainwashing.
  • God punishes promiscuous men with promiscuous daughters.
  • Family is not defined by genetics since everyone shares most of the same genes.
  • Cousins are disposable siblings.
  • Parents always have a favourite and an only child is the de facto.
  • A parent that buries a child dies twice.
  • The first sibling always has it the hardest.
  • An only child is often a rotten child.
  • A son is a man’s ticket to immortality.
  • A daughter is a woman’s ultimate doll.
  • Fathers teach boys how to be men and mothers teach them how to be gentlemen.
  • The quality of a society is directly proportional to the quality of its families.
  • Treat your children with respect. You’ll get old before they do. Treat your parents with respect. You’re going to get old too.

On Men

Group of men

  • There is a very thin line between men and boys.
  • Men who genuinely value feminine equity are wimps.
  • A car is an extension of a man’s ego and a woman his glorified hood ornament.
  • Nice guys don’t finish last. They just don’t finish.
  • A cocky man is a happy man.
  • Whether it is more money, more power or more sex, men just want more.
  • Men make better leaders because they can stop caring on cue.
  • Every man was born with the desire to conquer the world and everything in it.
  • So long as there has been civilization, a man’s worth has been measured by his accomplishments.
  • Male ego is the root of all evil, not money.
  • The Devil was God’s first prototype of man.
  • The age of a man has no bearing on his maturity.
  • The heat of battle is a celebration of untamed masculinity.
  • Young men love to fight, and old men love to give them reasons to do so.
  • Most times, a man’s exhibition of bravery is where his ego surpasses his fear.
  • Men cherish their ego more than they cherish their life.
  • A boy without a father is like a bomb without a fuse.
  • Absentee fathers are the cancer of society.
  • It is unnatural for any man to sexually desire only one woman.
  • Male bonding is a civilized celebration of the killer instinct.

On Women

Women

  • Yesterday’s women are becoming today’s men.
  • Feminism is a subtle form of hypocrisy.
  • Every woman knows that size does matter, but none of them are stupid enough to say it.
  • Any woman who values equality with a man is without ambition.
  • A woman undesirous of children is like a knife without a blade.
  • God created women to delay human extinction.
  • There is no honour among women and their kin.
  • A ‘liberated’ feminist is a divorcee in training.
  • Women are unlikely to be friends with others significantly prettier than themselves.
  • There’s no such thing as a high maintenance woman. All women are high maintenance.
  • Almost any woman can be made to feel attraction for virtually any man.
  • It’s shoes, handbags, chocolate and then flowers – in that order of preference.
  • Women dress more to impress themselves than to impress their men.
  • Vanity is every woman’s greatest vice.
  • Most women consistently confuse what they need with what they want.
  • When feeling insecure, most women prefer to be lied to.
  • Women care less about their figure as they get fatter.
  • Women get jealous over their men irrespective of the nature of the relationship.
  • Only lesbians are truly independent women.
  • It is irrational to argue with an irrational woman.

On People:

Crowd of pedestrians

  • Excuses were invented by people who refuse to try hard enough.
  • For every con artist, there exists at least 2 fools.
  • Ugly people are God’s abstract art pieces.
  • Beautiful people are the mean average of all individual tastes.
  • Simple minds are amused by simple things but confounded by even simpler ones.
  • Arguing with a fool is foolish.
  • Mediocrity is the staple of the lazy.
  • Untidy people are effectively lazy people.
  • Group affiliation is a one way ticket to obscurity.
  • Everybody wants to be famous yet nobody wants to be different.
  • Genius is only celebrated posthumously.
  • Everybody likes to be creatively deceived.
  • The least trustworthy people usually explicitly ask to be trusted.
  • People tend to respect an eloquent speaker – irrespective of what is being said.
  • It is easier for people to change the colour of their skin, hair and eyes than the colour of their minds.
  • Bureaucrats derive self worth by unnecessarily complicating simple tasks.
  • People won’t justify the need to believe an idea so long as it generates a positive emotion.
  • Hope is simultaneously the greatest human strength and the greatest human delusion.
  • Con artists exist because people often mistake conspicuous attitudes for credibility.
  • Most people are drones that spend most of their existence repeating what others have said, instead of creating new thought. Drones contribute nothing to social development. That’s why history repeats itself.

End of Volume 1

The rapturous procession of cognitive enlightenment continues…

Next: Epiphanies Volume 2: Epistemology

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  1. Poison
    May 18, 2010 at 2:32 am

    with all thats said here im surprised that you’re not a Misanthrope Xenlogic i feel as if im slowly becoming one

    • May 18, 2010 at 12:07 pm

      What makes you think I’m not? 😉

  2. xenlogic
    February 25, 2008 at 10:02 pm

    Fixed. Thanks man. The date on the entry reflects when it was first written. It’s been under lots of revision because it’s a part of a longer series.

  3. alamanach
    February 25, 2008 at 6:24 pm

    According to the date, this was posted two weeks ago, and yet somehow I’m only seeing it just now. Well, good post anyway!

    My favorite was the one on why men are better leaders. But shouldn’t that be “cue”?

  4. Razzybrite
    February 25, 2008 at 7:55 am

    Really interesting and highly analytical. Food for thought!

  1. December 27, 2008 at 9:01 pm

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