Why Nice Guys Finish Last

“Women are only attracted to men who behave like men.”

- Xenocrates

This one is dedicated to all the guys out there who will never break a woman’s heart; the guys who will always be a friend when she needs one, will always be her comforting shoulder when her boyfriend goes postal, will always offer their shoulder for them to cry on – and despite all of this, for some reason, still inexplicably find themselves STUCK IN THE FRIEND ZONE. Gentlemen, I salute you. I feel your pain. Even though you have been the ultimate guy in waiting, you find that the woman you constantly adore, the one for whom you offer yourself as a bridge over a puddle of mud - will never love you back. Why are women so duplicitous in their intentions towards men who are not jerks? Over the last month, I’ve sampled some fine female selections from the gene pool and I’ve come to realise why. Brace yourselves gentlemen. This one is going to hurt.