Faux News

“Deceive one and you’re a liar. Deceive thousands and you’re a cable news channel.”

- Xenocrates

I’ve been watching cable news for a long time and I will admit that running a 24 hour cable news network on live national television is no small feat. That’s why occasionally, even with the best intentions, the monotony can get to the producers who have to be constantly coming up with new ideas and ways to tell true stories. That’s why any cable news channel has to have a bevy of staff writers and producers who are constantly innovating. They have to. But no matter how hard they try, human emotion always finds a way into the mix with these gloomy lunatics with their fluffy boom sticks and their cheap verbal tricks. Now some cable news channels make this faux pas only every once in a while. Unfortunately, some like Fox News make that mistake frequently. Now even though CNN and other stations clearly have some liberal bias, at least they have the dignity to not make it appear so blatantly. Fox News on the other hand is clearly conservatively biased and has unapologetically exposed themselves as a Republican propaganda machine. Yet, they have the audacity to classify themselves as being “fair and balanced”. How is this possible? It’s based on a very simple explanation really. Allow me to elaborate:

The Obama Nation

“Politics is the subtle art of convincing other people that they already agree with your opinion.”

- Xenocrates

After a long, protracted and vicious political fight, Barack Obama, a 47 year old senator from Illinois,  clinched a very decisive victory over his Republican rival, John McCain – all while still only on his first term as a senator. That’s a huge accomplishment, considering he only became senator in 2004. This is the definition of a meteoric rise. All over the world, the second coming of Chri… err… I mean, Obama’s victory signaled the end of eight years of a political mess of epic proportions under the previous administration. This is HUGE. But I don’t think half of America realises how huge this really is. Most people are clueless of the true combo buster Obama used to decisively win this one. In this post, I expose the true genius of Obama’s campaign. This was no election. This is the beginning of an epic revolution. Barack Obama is much bigger than I originally thought he was.

Why People Believe in Garbage

“Belief is not a product of proof. Belief is a product of will.”

- Xenocrates

Rep. John McCain

John McCain is the next in the Republican party’s new line of epic 21st century FUBARs – as if George Bush wasn’t enough. The Republican party was once the pride and joy of America, producing great presidents like Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan. But lately, they’ve not been doing so well. McCain started out with a REALLY great campaign that showed promise, depth and direction, beating out the Mormon (Romney) and the comedian (Huckabee) – who happened to be my pick for the Republicans. I almost rooted for McCain while Hillary Clinton was busy destroying the Democratic party. Then he started to make a series of really bad decisions that basically ruined his campaign. First came the debates – which while not bad, he isn’t regarded as winning due to his emotive propensities. Then came the dull speeches, the flip flops, the lies and his worst mistake of all, Sarah Palin. That’s when everything went to hell. She flubbed on several interviews, displayed jaw dropping ignorance, brought along the Troopergate scandal, undermined her own running mate, called the prophet a socialist, terrorist groupie, playing up to the ignorance of the Republitards. That left McCain to do damage control as his own racist, hick town groupies chanted “kill him”, “Terrorist” and “I don’t trust [that] Arab”. I mean, SERIOUSLY? How does ONE man mess up SO bad in SUCH a short space of time? None of that matters now. More importantly, why are so many people still supporting the Republican party given all this chaos? I examined the blind loyalty of educated Republicans and then looked back at all the garbage that people believe in and that’s when I discovered a correlation that explains why smart people can believe in such utter rubbish:

The Bitch vs The Prophet

“It is irrational to argue with an irrational woman.”

- Xenocrates

Governor Sarah Palin

verybody loves a fiesty bitch – especially if it wears lipstick. Sarah Palin is quite possibly the cheapest in a long line of Republican tricks to win an election. John McCain is a clever bastard. He realised that the crowd was swooning for the younger, blacker, hipper candidate. Since Barack Obama forsook his bitch option (Senator Hillary Clinton) for a smartass (Joe Biden) and for very good reasons, he thought; ‘what better way to even the odds (or at least, attempt to do so) by selecting a hot, young, bona fide bitch for VP’. It’s a brilliant ploy that reeks of gimmick and sexploitation. Ever since this über-bitch took the stage, the media has suddenly stopped cutting John McCain’s speeches short for Obama’s. Now they’re cutting them short for hers. Even though she has proven that she is just as clueless as the president her ticket is hoping to replace, I suspect that some elements of the American idiocracy will swoon for her just the same – because that’s what idiocracies do. The only time Sarah Palin seems remotely in touch with anything that comes out of her mouth is when she’s not repeating memorised speaking notes as she plays the role of John McCain’s fiesty biting poodle. Good thing her bark is worse than her bite as was evident when Katie Couric showed her who’s the baddest bitch around – and Katie didn’t even have to get fiesty. Rawr. This proves more than anything else that Palin’s more MILF than VP material. I ain’t even gonna lie. I’d hit it.

The Black Messiah

“Election Campaigns are nothing more than glorified popularity contests.“

- Xenocrates

Barack Obama

arack Obama is probably the most glorified political candidate since Bill Clinton. Not since John F. Kennedy inspired America with magical and profound rhetoric, has any politician captured the minds and imaginations of the American public as he. Barack Obama reminds me of the most spirit churning black preachers, like Bishop T.D. Jakes, who could rouse any congregation with powerful words and awe inspiring rhetoric that would make your spine tingle – whether or not you believed in God. Barack Obama iconifies all the reasons people love super stars and super heroes and Jesus Christ. Wait… now I’m comparing a politician to Jesus Christ? Clearly I’ve gone too far! (Or have I?) I see Barack Obama as a trendsetter and a profound spokesman – and little more. However, most black people (not just black Americans) like him for a wholly different reason. While I love this guy, I fear that their expectations of a relatively young African-American senator from Illinois are too high. He’s become something of a Black Messiah – the iconification of all the hopes of Black America brought to bear on one man. I’m afraid of this expectation because of what happened to the last Messiah. If you’re an Obama supporter and you’re not worried, you should be.