Why the USA will never embrace Soccer

“The rules are only decided by winners while the losers only get to follow them.”

- Xenocrates

It is football season. No, I don’t mean that bloodsport between monstrous men that clash bones and rend muscle in what amounts to little more than an out dated version of rugby on steroids – literally. I mean football – a game that is actually played with the foot. It’s also called “Soccer” and it’s the greatest game on Earth – the only one America sucks at. I’ll give you 10 reasons why.