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“It is irrational to argue with an irrational woman.”
- Xenocrates
Governor Sarah Palin
verybody loves a fiesty bitch - especially if it wears lipstick. Sarah Palin is quite possibly the cheapest in a long line of Republican tricks to win an election. John McCain is a clever bastard. He realised that the crowd was swooning for the younger, blacker, hipper candidate. Since Barack Obama forsook his bitch option (Senator Hillary Clinton) for a smartass (Joe Biden) and for very good reasons, he thought; ‘what better way to even the odds (or at least, attempt to do so) by selecting a hot, young, bona fide bitch for VP’. It’s a brilliant ploy that reeks of gimmick and sexploitation. Ever since this über-bitch took the stage, the media has suddenly stopped cutting John McCain’s speeches short for Obama’s. Now they’re cutting them short for hers. Even though she has proven that she is just as clueless as the president her ticket is hoping to replace, I suspect that some elements of the American idiocracy will swoon for her just the same - because that’s what idiocracies do. The only time Sarah Palin seems remotely in touch with anything that comes out of her mouth is when she’s not repeating memorised speaking notes as she plays the role of John McCain’s fiesty biting poodle. Good thing her bark is worse than her bite as was evident when Katie Couric showed her who’s the baddest bitch around - and Katie didn’t even have to get fiesty. Rawr. This proves more than anything else that Palin’s more MILF than VP material. I ain’t even gonna lie. I’d hit it.
“Women use men to validate their sexuality while men use women to satiate theirs.”
- Xenocrates
here are many situations I’ve heard of where guys complain that romance often feels like a game of sorts. Why can’t a guy simply approach a woman and indicate his intentions without having to jump through hoops and play these silly (perhaps even childish) mind games? Why do women like to play cock tease? Romance gurus are often no help. They make it seem really complicated. They often make it appear as though women are really highly sophisticated sheep such that wolves have to figure out a complex hunting algorithm in order to catch one. Are women really that complicated? Far from it. If you’ve ever had trouble figuring out why you a guy have had so much trouble just in the woo process, it’s not necessarily that you’re doing something wrong. Women do play needless mind games, but who says you have to play along? Read on to find out what I mean.
“The mere fact that the phrase ‘Girl Power’ was ever coined alludes to the fact that it is just a myth.“
- Xenocrates
love having a female boss. There’s not much else in the world that’s as awesome as answering to a woman - especially when she’s bloody hot. Let’s face it, we live in a world where even though women are stepping up and stepping out, they’ll never be taken quite as seriously in the workplace as their male counterparts. Women are trying desperately to be treated with the same level of gravity as men, only to run into an irritating dilemma: Do you sacrifice your femininity to be taken seriously or do you accentuate your femininity and be treated as a sex object? You sure as ever can’t have both. Decisions, decisions. My contention is: Why are women even giving themselves such a headache in the first place? What was so wrong with the world when Men ruled unequivocally and women were our heart throb ladies in waiting at home? Ladies, in case you’re wondering why you even have to make a choice, here’s the top ten reasons why no matter what you do, this is still, always was, and always will be a man’s world:
“People are nothing more than sophisticated animals living their lives as though they they were anything more than just that.”
- Xenocrates
People are fascinating creatures. Aside from their biological curiosities, there’s really not much more to them. People are nothing more than slightly sophisticated animals. It shows in the way we relate to each other and how we live our lives. Every single human behaviour can be rationalised from a very basic animalistic perspective. Most of our key behavioural traits can be expressed in highly simplistic terms that hold true for the majority of us. What makes us interesting is that much of our very existence parades on the assumption that we’re not. That’s why many of these epiphanies have proven to be such eye openers for many. People who’ve really studied human behaviour however, will not be the least bit surprised. This is the first volume in a synoptical arrangement of epiphanies I’ve had on various aspects of life. This entry tackles people’s existential quirks on a whole new level. All of this I’ve learned in the short space of time that I have lived on this rock. As far as I know, these are all my own original thoughts:
“Women were designed expressly for the explicit pacification of men, inasmuch as mankind was designed expressly for the explicit appeasement of God”
- Xenocrates
I Chauvenist Pig, do hereby declare that I love women.
I love everything about them; from how they look, how they dress, how they talk, how they walk, how they behave, how they feel to the touch - I just love them. If this sounds like just another testosterone driven baseful objectification of womankind, then I dare you to read on and I’ll prove you wrong. This is dedicated to the wholesome glorification of all that makes my penis sing. I think women are God’s single greatest creation (…well, next to the BMWs and Hondas - which you can use to get even MORE women!). I love women so much that I spent half of my short life studying these fascinating creatures. In fact, this post will become the first chapter of my new book: “Women Explained - The X Chromosone Revealed“. Now read on and let me tell you why I love these people:
“Good girls are loved by the bad boys whom they seek in as much as a moth is loved by the flame to which it flies.”
- Xenocrates
This goes out to all the women out there chasing after bad boys:
One of single most profound things that I’ve discovered about women is the amazingly shallow perceptive capability that each and every single one of them are configured with by default. Most women do not develop highly perceptive cognition with respect to the opposite sex until their mid thirties, and this is largely as a result of how the female brain was designed. A woman could be considered a wombed man, and as such is designed specifically for bringing new life to bear through natural, genetically propagated, maternal instincts. Thus it is biologically practical that women are designed with the propensity to procure and nuture life. This is where the right brain becomes most useful. The right brain is responsible for the “fuzzy-logic” capacity of the human mind. This is where artistic inspiration and emotive cognition are generated. Both qualities are fundamental for fulfilling their natural roles in life as the nurturer and care giver in the family.
However, these instincts are highly basic and were not designed for hunter/gatherer tasks. As society has evolved, bringing women on almost equal footing with men, they now have to learn that skill - something which comes natural for the left brained, naturally predatory, hunter gatherer male. Unfortunately, this skill is rarely well learned, and that’s what makes women victim to highly predatory males who are only seeking to gratify themselves sexually at the woman’s expense. These types of relationships burnt out quickly and the remains consist of bitter women who lump every other male they see (including those which would never have broken their heart) along in the same pile as the bad boys they sought so impetuously. These women are damaged goods and we the good men are often left to sift through the mess after their bad boy relationships fizz out.
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