Relationship Addiction (Part 1 of 2) — Love by any means

Settling for someone less than you deserve makes for two unhappy people instead of one.

— Xenocrates

Most people want to get to this state. The trouble is, some people don’t care how.

I’ve heard many people complain about their unsatisfactory relationships, only to see them break up and start another one just like it. What’s the reasoning for this? Wouldn’t it make more sense to learn from the past? As it turns out, that is not the problem. Most people would much rather to be in a relationship than be in love. They are relationship addicts — slaves to the want of being desired. This addiction has now reached pandemic proportions.

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■ E-mail: accordingtoxen[at]gmail[dot]com

Love is a Drug

Love is a powerful narcotic with devastatingly addictive properties.

- Xenocrates

Have you ever been in love? Are you in love right now? What’s the craziest thing you wouldn’t do for the person you love? If you can think of more than three of them, then you probably aren’t in love. You are probably experiencing a deep emotional affection heavily tempered by rationality. That’s the right place to be, because when you’re in love with someone, it is easier to have died a thousand deaths than to let go of that warm, infuriatingly intoxicating feeling.

Whatever you do, don’t fall in love before you read this.

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■ E-mail: accordingtoxen[at]gmail[dot]com

What Women Really Want

“What a woman really wants is rarely congruous with what she really needs.”

- Xenocrates

I have heard many conversations between men and women debating what women really want. I’ve often found such conversations to be just as entertaining as they were meaningless, largely because women rarely know themselves well enough to know what they want, let alone what they need.

However, I believe that I have inadvertently discovered what women really want. If you’re a man, you may find this interesting. If you’re a woman, I can tell you right now that your sense of denial will probably kick in before you get to the end of this post (if it hasn’t already). I’m prepared for you. So let’s talk…

The Love Hypocrisy

“While we are young, lust is indistinguishable from love.”

- Xenocrates

A girlfriend of mine once said that young people love with their eyes and old people with their hearts. However, what she doesn’t realise is that she has just highlighted the fact that romance is inherently rife with a certain type of hypocrisy that has completely maligned the way we understand true love.

The Price of Female Companionship

“As every woman fetches a price, it should come as no surprise that men treat them like assets to be counted and valued.”

- Xenocrates

Do men ALWAYS buy sex? This is certainly worth contemplation.

In 2006, I had a most enlightening conversation with a young woman who wasn’t what you’d call one of the sharpest knives in drawer. Needless to say, the profundity of what came out of her mouth stumped me for several weeks. Yes, it was that earth shattering at the time. This is what she said:

“All men buy sex. The men who get married pay the most, while the patrons of prostitution pay the least.“

Needless to say, I was appalled. Surely this lass who wasn’t necessarily as smart as she was pretty merely stumbled upon this epiphany through someone else’s cognition. I hadn’t decided to give it further contemplation then until a very recent experience with another woman. Now I fear that she may have been right. No wonder many men are so sexist.