Men always had what they really wanted. Thus the question is intrinsically irrelevant.
Every time I hear a woman exclaim that she can’t figure out men, I laugh really hard. Why? Because there’s positively nothing to figure out about men. Men are rarely sophisticated animals – even the ones with a genius level IQ. Men are more animal than even we are willing to admit. That’s why I had not spent any time writing a post entitled “What Men Really Want” – well, not until now.
Please be advised; this will be very short.
“While our minds may have evolved, our bodies have not.”
I recently discovered that the reason why moths fly into an open flame is because they were engineered by nature to navigate by night using the light of the moon. However, when men came around and invented fire, it messed with the moth’s navigation system – which 70,000 years later, has not yet been upgraded by natural evolution. The same problem also affects humans.
It is why men are capable of being in love with more than one woman, why several women are mutually inclined to gravitate towards one man, why a teen girl who knows about unwanted pregnancy would still have unprotected sex, and why boys aware of the outcome of truancy will still drop out of school.
We’re making these observations not because they’re strange, but because our society has made them seem that way after many centuries of cognitive evolution. The vast disparity between intellect and nature that results creates what I would like to call an Intelligence Bottleneck. This is a perfectly good explanation for some of the inexplicably stupid things rational humans still do.
“While we are young, lust is indistinguishable from love.”
A girlfriend of mine once said that young people love with their eyes and old people with their hearts. However, what she doesn’t realise is that she has just highlighted the fact that romance is inherently rife with a certain type of hypocrisy that has completely maligned the way we understand true love.
“It is unnatural for any one man to sexually desire only one woman.”
Why do men cheat? A lot of women have pondered on this question with great frustration. The answer however is so profoundly simple that I suspect the reason many have failed to appreciate the utter simplicity of it is largely because they are needlessly looking for an answer much deeper than the obvious. However, science shows that the simplest answers usually suffice.
“While everyone is entitled to their preferences, true love has no colour…”
In the film Obsessed (2009), a deranged white woman (played by Ali Larter) comes on rather strongly to a powerful black executive (played by Idris Elba). Thereafter, the film becomes a setup for the ultimate cat fight between the white woman and the black man’s wife (played by Beyoncé Knowles). The plot reverses the black man pursues white woman stereotype.
While it is obvious that the film’s ludicrous plot is nothing more than a visualization of the revenge fantasy of every black woman who has ever lost a lover to a white woman, it does beg the question: Do black men prefer white women? Is there any truth to this stereotype? I explore this and other related issues in this thought provoking piece on sex and racial politics.
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